Tag Archives: honesty

First steps in radical honesty and writing love letters to strangers

Writing Love Letters to Strangers

So far I have not plunged to deep into this project. Until now I have written two “love letters” to strangers, that I left somewhere outside (one at a bus stop, the other on the backseat of a parked motorbike) for a stranger to find and to feel good about – maybe, hopefully. But dont take it the wrong way: The purpose of this exercise is feeling love within myself – and if someone else also profits from it, that is even better. I certainly hope so.

Let’s see how and if this project will grow for me…

Radical Honesty

I have started scan-reading the book “Radical Honesty” by Brad Blanton. In the two videos below you will hear some first thoughts and experiences that came up through reading the book and learning about Brad Blanton’s ideas on the internet as well. There aren’t too many sources so far, but right now I am happy with what I can get.

Honesty – or say radical honesty – has always been crucial to me and my wellbeing. Unfortunately so far I havent been very succesful in overcoming my fears in order to truthfully express myself. Discovering Brad Blanton was a great relief for me, since now all of a sudden I realize that I am not as alone on the planet as I had always thought myself to be.

Right now I am very interested in learning more about the merits and the how-to’s of honestly expressing my anger.

I truely hope that I will share more of my personal development on this subject in future blog posts. And now without further ado … here are the two rather lengthy videos:

Posted in Books, Life, Radical Honesty, Spirituality | Also tagged , | 3 Comments

To hell with you – just be real!

I feel the hot blazes of rage ravage inside of me, when I think about how most humans (and speaking from my experience, that is 99%) handle authenticity.

“Authenticity”, most believe, “surely is important, BUT…”

And I say: There is no „BUT“ that is any real but. Because basically there is no BUT. You are scared and you are only justifying your fears. But your fears are unsubstantiated. We all are meant to be authentic – absolutely authentic. Absolutely authentic. That is what we are. And if we are not, we are not ourselves. We are shadows. We are dead. We are empty. We are nothing. We are a shadow of our true selves. We are powerless, lonely, empty beings.

Why does noone get this? Why does noone seem to sense that when you are not authentic, when you are not true to yourself, when you hide yourself, that you are not being who you truely are? How can anyone believe that a lie is justified? It never is! I feel an all-consuming rage over this.

Every stupid person – and those are 99% – would be beat up badly right now, if I had a say in that. Of course they wouldnt be – NO WORRIES. I am the last person to harm anybody – I simply could not. Because that goes so much against my nature, and I simply cannot go against myself. But I so much would want to.

The retardedness of a belief system that makes it legitimate to lie and cheat on yourself is out of my willingness to grasp. I mean, I do understand how someone could be scared of retaliation and death and therefore decides to conform, but any person who actually believes that this is right, should be permanently have to live in a children cradle until they grow out of these retarded beliefs.

I am a being with the greatest sensitivity and therefore I know how people tick very well – often much better than the people themselves. I DO understand completely the „Why“ of it. But – still – the harm that people cause to themselves and others through all their inauthenticity is what makes me crinch in disgust and rage. It is so obvious!

And at least, at least, have some dignity, some integrity and dont justify what you are doing and go even so far as to demonize those who are doing it RIGHT. At least you humans – AT LEAST – go and respect those who are doing right. Because you know, that it is right. You – yes I fucking mean YOU – know that deep inside! You KNOW it. Dont be so childish as to think I would believe you for a second that you dont really know that. Stop these childish stupid attempts.

I am not your enemy (even though I might sound like one right now). I am well aware of what kind of emotional reactions my words might evoke in you.

My devilish angels. Really try to listen to your heart. See I love humanity. I really love you, love us all. I really do and I want the good for you – he he and for me. I want a world full of people that are truely true to themselves in their thought, speech and action. Cant you just relax for a moment and listen to that soul of yours? Just for a moment? Cant you sense the beauty of that thought? Cant you sense the beauty of a world where authenticity is the norm? Believe me, you just have a soul like I do. It is so beautiful. So so so so beautiful. So much love, so much power, so much dignity! You are all God. If you would know the beauty of your soul, you would understand my anger.

And also – even though you may not agree with my words – your soul is rejoicing in agreement to my message (of course not to my hatred or rage – your soul in fact loves you very dearly just as you are). So try to listen – try to listen – not so much to me, but to the message of your soul that speaks through my words which echo in your heart.

Believe me, I will never give up on you. I will always rather hate you, than not care at all. I will always speak the truth of my soul. I will always rather speak in rage than be silent. Believe me that my rage is love, that is just desperate right now. Believe me. Or dont believe me, but believe your soul. Ask your soul how important authenticity is for you? Ask your soul!

We are in a state where what you define as normal is not normal. Dont listen to the definitions of society of what is normal. Find the normal within you. Be real and be true. Dont wait until the weeks before you die to have this realization and annoy me with your regret. Go have it now! Own your life – own yourself.

As a FOOTNOTE I want to add, that I see rage as a important, empowering step on the way to realizing my true self. I dont believe that my current rage is all there will be heard about this. The intense energy of rage will transform itself inside of me … it actually already is transforming. So anybody who has a believe system that agrees with my rage, but believes that this rage is all that is. That this is how it is and that there is nothing we can do about it. Sorry, I am not interested in your sympathy. ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE LIGHT. Always reach for your power – which lies with your love and not your rage.

Especially when in such deep deep darkness – I am not interested in people who want to cuddle with me because they believe themselves stuck in the same darkness that I am in and want my companionship. I am growing – I wont be here for long. I am moving on, my sweethearts. And I am definitely not going to hang around with the likes of you.

Ha ha – that should have eliminated a great part of the few sympathy’s that this post might have evoked.

Much much much LOVE to you all. I really love you rascals, bastards and pessimists (I have to, otherwise I would have to hate my own rascal-, bastard- and pessimistness). We are all in it together. It is crazy, this journey. But I wouldnt have it any other way. LOVE!!!

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Beautiful bird of paradise

I feel I have got to hurry to catch the revelation I have just experienced in words to write down here.

I have just read a blog entry and listened to a song. It took me like 20 minutes. And afterwards, my heart was deeply rejoicing and I was just overspilling with gratitude for my life.

The blog entry is by Jason Mraz. Read it here.

And the song I listened to is this one.

Read it, hear it – maybe you will understand.

What did I realize though, that I want to share so much? It is my love for beauty. And I am talking about deep beauty – not the ugly shallow version that most people hunt.

No its the deep beauty that shines through the words, face and body of a person who is making themselves absolutely vulnerable by being absolutely honest. Nothing could shake me more than being a witness of this, nothing could move me more, nothing could evoke deeper feelings of love and gentleness and gratitude and joy.

This world is such a beautiful place for me. So beautiful. Unbearably beautiful. Heart-shatteringly beautiful. And this is because of the eternal, limitless beauty that lies within each soul. The moment when words could never express how deeply I am touched to see beauty. I remember how Rumi wrote about Shams. Saying something like: „Shams – what can I tell you about Shams. The truth about Shams starts where words are silent.“ I made that up just now – but it was something similar to that.

The sad truth that comes along with this revelation is how the way that I am relating to many people again and again fogs my vision of that enormous beauty in this world. Seperates me from my true soul, from this world. Part of me is very angry at those people for „fogging me“. But in the end – I believe – I will realize that the creator of this soul-clouding-fog is me and noone else. It is the choices that I make that again and again banish me from the paradise within me and around me. I am the bird of paradise, it really is just a question of opening my heart to it. And the sad truth is, that as long as I keep that heart closed, keep creating all that fog around me, I am not the bird of paradise. I am both?

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